


Fyrsta

by ExpressAndAdmirable



Series: The Heroes of Light [13]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types, Final Fantasy I
Genre: F/F, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Tiefling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 03:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13158429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExpressAndAdmirable/pseuds/ExpressAndAdmirable
Summary: The Heroes defeated a powerful enemy, but not before he killed one of their own. Lux tries to comfort Morgan and finds herself unravelling in the process.





	Fyrsta

Of all the things that could have ended him, all the powerful spells and mighty weapons they possessed, it was a crossbow bolt that entered his windpipe and finally silenced him for good.

_I am no friend of darkness._

Lux lowered the crossbow. She blinked, her gold eyes holding only the barest focus on the body of their enemy as it slumped to the ground. The adrenaline that had fuelled her during the battle had already begun to ebb away, leaving a numb exhaustion in its place. That was good. The numbness was familiar, an old blanket she could wrap around her shoulders, a well-worn armour long fitted to her form. It was where she needed to be if she was to care for others. Her own self could wait.

She looked over her companions slowly, dully, as if moving through a fog. Sol and Wilhelm were picking themselves up from the floor, injuries severe but both still conscious thanks to her crystal’s healing abilities. Hearth-Mother indeed. Grummer was letting out the last of his rage upon the body of the creature who had worn the face of Thorncurl, snarling and whacking at the corpse with his axe and hammer. Lux turned to where Bornelius had fallen at the creature’s word. His body was gone; only the blue crystal that had lived within him remained. Morgan cradled it to her chest, her eyes wide and shimmering with tears. That was where Lux needed to go.

“Why don’t you hold on to that?”

Morgan leaned into Lux’s offered embrace, nodding at the Tiefling’s words. She would keep the crystal safe. Lux settled next to Morgan on the floor. Somewhere in the active part of her mind, she knew her friends would need her music to aid in their recovery, so she sang the only thing that surfaced through her mental haze. A funerary song, simple and clear, with no instrument to accompany her. Her voice mimicked the emotion she did not feel. It would do.

As the words of her Song of Rest faded away, joining the moonlight streaming in through the destroyed wall of the cavern, Lux retrieved a salve from her pack and tended absently to the burn on her neck. She needed to keep her hands busy, it allowed her mind to remain still. Morgan spoke, her voice catching in her throat, asking a series of why? Lux answered as best she could. She murmured a cantrip and held a hand over her other sleeve, watching as the torn fabric began to knit itself together. It was strangely meditative.

“I don’t know who is telling the truth any more.”

There was steel under Morgan’s words. She railed against the myriad lies they had faced and cursed her own naivete, curling into herself and clutching the blue stone tightly in her little hand. For a few long moments, she was silent; when she lifted her head again, tears streamed down her cheeks.

Lux shifted closer and slipped her arm around the Gnome, speaking words of quiet comfort that felt almost rote. Her disconnected calm provided a degree of clarity, allowing her to gently press against Morgan’s despair and lead her down more reassuring paths. They spoke of trust: how it must be earned rather than freely given, and how it can be gained and lost and gained again if all involved are willing. With few allies and ever-rallying enemies, they would have to redouble their efforts to care for one another, even as their own numbers changed and dwindled. It was the closest to safe they would ever be.

“Now he’s in you. He’s in your memories and in your heart.”

Some questions could have no answers, but Lux’s words seemed to have the desired effect. Morgan sighed that she would miss Bornelius, and they discussed the possibility of finding the Dwarf’s family. As they spoke, Morgan produced copper wire from her apron and began to fashion a pendant from the crystal. Lux busied her own hands folding a small white bear out of a piece of parchment, the delicate movements capturing Morgan’s attention. Without thinking, Lux found herself speaking of her mentor, who had taught her the skill. It led to her father, whose fatal accident had brought her mentor into her life. Both were long dead and gone. Something stirred in her chest; she pushed it away. Not now.

When the bear was finished, Lux moved on to hand-rolling a new set of cigarettes. The smell of the spices reminded Morgan of the vanilla pipes her parents smoked, parents she had not seen in some time. There was no-one to mind her shop while she was gone, and she mentioned she had left a ‘be back soon’ sign in the window.

“I should have put up a different sign, huh?”

The sudden ache in Lux’s heart penetrated her careful defenses. Morgan had been so innocent when they started. How could she have known? But they had already been gone from Corneria for weeks, and Lux could not bring herself to point out there was no guarantee they would return at all. Instead, she mentioned her own mother’s shop and immediately regretted it. There had been no chance for a proper goodbye. Her mother’s letter had said she had gone to Pravoka, but she knew nothing more than that. Creeping fear threatened the corners of Lux’s mind. Fear, and pain, and grief. The dam had started to crack.

To cover the rising tide that presaged the flood, Lux allowed a pun to pass her lips. Finally, Morgan laughed. A bit wild, and too close to tears, but it was something. Lux felt her head starting to reel, her breath shorten. Too much. She fished the bottle of bourbon from her pack, kissed Morgan on the forehead, and made an excuse about seeing to Sol to ease her exit. She took the paper bear with her, placing it atop one of the tall crates that littered the room. There it would rest.

Her excuse was not exactly a lie. Lux glanced at Sol, absorbed in conversation with Grummer, and if Sol were to find her, she would not turn the Drow away. But her immediate need was simply to be alone. It was the only way she understood how to function. She ducked behind the furthest crate she could find, the nearby ground scorched from a flame spell, and sat gracelessly against it, her head heavy in her hands. The waves washed over her.

Bornelius was dead. From the day they first left Corneria they had been tricked, lied to, led down false paths, made to serve the very thing they fought. Garamond, Blackhand, Thorncurl, Nockarrow, gods knew who else. Her home was miles away, her mother further, or perhaps she had already fallen victim to the Calling. Roger had left them. Feldon had disappeared, his soul tied to a dark fate. Wilhelm was a trial on a good day. Bringing peace to the Elves alone seemed an impossible task, and that was merely a chapter in the tale. They were supposed to save the fucking world, somehow, some way, without so much as a friend to guide them. She couldn’t fathom it. It was too big. They were too small. _She_ was too small.

She tasted copper on her tongue. Surprised, she removed the unlit cigarette from her mouth and found a spot of blood seeping into the paper. She had bitten her lip so hard it was bleeding. With shaking hands, she replaced the cigarette and reached for her tinderbox. She couldn’t breathe.

Then, in the back of her mind, Morgan’s voice came unbidden. Something she had said earlier that day, deep within the darkness of the sewer. The one thing Lux had not allowed herself to consider, yet as soon as it left Morgan’s lips, she knew it was true.

“She’s Sol, and you love her. I don’t think you need to think twice about that.“

Lux did not need to think twice about that.

**Author's Note:**

> Title song by Olafur Arnalds.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at @expressandadmirable for a proper table of contents for the Heroes campaign, commissioned character art, text-based roleplay snippets and more!


End file.
